Advice to parents during quarantine

At the initiative of the Public Relations Department of Abai University, since May 2020, the university has been providing psychological counseling to applicants, students and their parents on various topics. We have the most popular specialists in this field. In connection with quarantine we offer useful advice from an experienced psychologist of Abai KazNPU Bakhyt Zhigitbekova.

A person is in contact in two areas simultaneously. These are external and internal territories. External territories include work, home, social and family ties of a person, and his or her internal territory - values, feelings, worldview. These territories are psychological support, a powerful source of resources, thanks to which one can feel comfortable. Due to quarantine, the external territory has practically disappeared. We do not meet with colleagues and friends, joint pastime in restaurants is suspended. However, the need for communication has not disappeared, on the contrary, in the conditions of self-isolation it is only growing. Therefore, forces have to be taken from within, from the inner world of a person. This destroys our resilience and reduces our resources to cope with the stress caused by the pandemic. It is the family, our closest associates, that plays an enormous role. We know that family warmth and harmony are a powerful tool for overcoming any stress.

In general, parents have the task of understanding the emotional state of their child in isolation, to compensate for the time spent with him, and to establish good relations.

Usually, as many students live and study in another city, parents are not always able to express their feelings for their children. In conditions when students study remotely, at home, parents have the opportunity to learn more deeply about their, albeit relatively adults, children, their new interests. That is why common home affairs, joint tea drinking, watching movies and TV programs, «heart-to-heart» conversations are so important. It is very important to call your relatives, grandparents in front of children so that they could see and feel what attention and care is. Then they can count on their feedback. Quarantine has strengthened the value of weakened family relationships.

Unfortunately, in some families, quarantine and 24-hour activities together, especially in small apartments, led to a completely different picture: some couples came to the idea of divorce. It is observed not only in young families, but also with great experience. Naturally, it affects all family members, especially the psyche of children and adolescents. The expert advises not to rush, not to make hasty steps. Remember all the good things that happened between you.

During quarantine, people are forced to move to work at home and perform their professional duties from home. However, if there is a child who requires attention to himself, it is not so easy to implement. In this case, advice to spouses: when working one, the other is engaged with the child and vice versa. It is necessary to indicate a change of schedule.

In general, quarantine is an additional opportunity to establish relationships for all family members and get to know each other. Between them, empathy grows. It is necessary to strengthen this feeling. Avoid activities such as identifying a homemaker that suddenly requires good household management, such as training the head of the family to wash the dishes and cook. Domestic problems should be solved without pressure, with the consent of the parties.

Dear parents, let your psychological well-being be strong! To balance the internal resources of family members, you can support each other with the following words: following words:
1. I have plans A and B. Both plans are under control.
2. If you lose your balance, do not blame yourself - it is normal. I am with you...
3. It is impossible to control everything, pay attention to the important.
4. How can I help you?
5. Let`s tell a good story.
6. Our children are our happiness.